Hold the Nuts

Howdy, folks. If you're here, you're probably allergic to something and looking for advice, or maybe a good recipe. Or you love food. Or you love me. (Hey, Mom & Dad!) 

I've always been allergic to nuts. When I was three, a cookie almost killed me, and life's been a recipe-reading ride ever since. Around 12 or 13, I noticed that apples made my mouth itch. So did oranges, clementines and my beloved grapefruits. I was chased down the boardwalk by Mr. Peanut, and through the lunchroom by a kid with PB&J. In college, a banana made my tongue swell. The freshman 15 never happened for me, because I was too afraid to eat anything other than chicken, and/or veggies. My junior year, someone asked me (through her mouth full of birthday cake) what diet I was on, because I looked "totally amazing." My response? "The one where food is out to kill me."

I tend to have...ironic luck. When I wanted a room with a view, I got the ground floor apartment with a reception desk window. I love food, so of course I'm a bucket full of allergies. Of course. 

I have spent the past year of my life living abroad, where legumes roam free and barrels of nutty doom sit beside gorgeous treasure troves of tea. Where a walk through the market means, "hold your breath. don't touch that. don't buy that. don't eat that." 

I get crazy eyes when someone eats fruit in front of me. I imagine the explosion of juice, and eat vicariously through my friends. Eating healthy has always been a struggle for me. Without fruit, nuts, or seeds,  there are no safe/healthy "grab-n-go's" for me. Granola bars are off limits. Forget about trail mix. And fruit is an obvious no-no. People often ask me "what do you eat?"

This blog is a survival guide to life with allergies. Like...a lot of them. If you have allergies, I hope I help. If you love food, I hope you laugh. If you love me, well...then you probably already know everything I'm writing about. Onward! And please, hold the nuts.